“把话说清楚。”—— 所有的事情开始于我妈的一句唠叨。
       从小时候开始，我妈就在我耳边不停的重复着这句话。可是我并没有在意，因为我可以和我的同学很好的交流，所以我一直认为是她苛求的过多，用一个90年代人的听力，去听我们二十一世纪的快速语速肯定听不完整，而且我也把我发音问题的大部分原因都归结到了我从小缺失的那颗牙齿。所以每次我妈去提醒我发音清楚，我总是哼哼哈哈的应付过去而已，从来没有意识到这个问题的严重性。 第一次体会到我妈的struggle是在一次语文课演讲上，那次演讲的话题正好是关于我最喜欢的书 麦田里的守望者 。所以为了这个演讲我准备了tons of reference去尽可能的把这次演讲做的完美，展示自己最好的一面给同学，惊艳他们。但是事与愿违，演讲中有的只是我被打断和我的尴尬。 我开始介绍这本书的主题：“麦田里的守望者讲的是一个16岁的主人公在曼哈顿游荡，展示了他在期间的焦虑，愤怒的……” “展示了什么？”老师很和蔼的把我打断，去确定我说的内容。 我不得不很尴尬的一字一句的重复我说过的话：“焦虑与愤怒。”然后再继续我之后说的内容。 我知道老师并没有什么恶意，但这句话却深深地影响我，在他问过那句话后，我完全丧失了信心，声音变得越来越小，越来越不清楚，而且之后我准备的内容完全没有说出来。突然之间，我明白了并不是我妈苛求过多，而是我真的每句话说的不是那么清晰。有可能我的朋友能理解我说的每句话，是由于他们对我的了解。他们必须推测我说的模模糊糊的话才能理解我的话的含义。 在这件事情之后，我开始十分注意我说的每句话的清楚度and speak as best as i can，将语速方面放慢，将每个音都清楚的发出。我也暗自里偷偷的拿报纸大声朗读，直到把这篇文章读到字句清晰为止。虽然我妈的唠叨依旧在，但是次数明显少了很多，我也在她面前尽可能说的清楚。 之后还有一件事情让我坚定了要去speak clearly。上个暑假，我去北京参加了关于英语的培训。其中，有一个同学说英语发音就完全不清晰，而且语速还特别快。对他来说，口语说的快才是英语口语的真谛。在他做一个英语的presentation时候，我totally lost在他模糊不清的口语之中，要不是他将主题打在了ppt上，我就完全不知道他的point，甚至觉得他说的是另一种语言。我也完全理解了当时我的老师在我做演讲时候的想法。只有我们将话说的清楚明了，才能战线出我们语言的力量，语言的魅力。我需要听到他人清楚的说话，也要和他人清楚的交流。因为只有清楚的说话，我才能更好的和他人交流。有时候话语间小小的差距会影响对整句话的理解。我下定我的决心去提高 power of my language. 在一天天的说话练习之后，我说话的清楚度的提高也完全surprise了我的同学。 他们问道“你怎么现在说的这么清楚？！"。我笑着答复道：“it is my own secret.”这也让我找回了我自己的自信。找回我面对陌生人说话和演讲的勇气，甚至影响了我内向的性格，把我变得更加阳光和积极。 文书成文： “Speak CLEARLY!” Mum got irritated again. I couldn’t remember for how long this imperative sentence had been ringing in my ears repeatedly, maybe since I was 5 or 6? Nevertheless, I was almost impervious to that, because from elementary school to high school for all the emotional needs outside family I had 3 best and faithful friends who understood me so perfectly that they were able to read my mind fast only after my first three words. So, why change? Actually my mum was right----my pronunciation was pretty terrible indeed. Under most circumstances I avoided coming to verbal. No wonder I loved the supermarket where I could simplify shopping into three steps: take, pay, and leave. When oral communication was inevitable, I tried to get by with gabbling syllables. The consequence of clinging to the comfort zone was the waning confidence. Frequently my voice got weaker in conversations; sometimes I even gave up standing up for my opinion, though I had very strong arguments. Problem emerged finally on a Chinese speech contest themed in my favorite novel The Catcher in the Rye. To polish my presentation, I prepared tons of reference and tailored a delicate speechwriting. Unfortunately, everything was contrary to what I expected. “It’s a story about a teenager who wandered in Manhattan with anxiety and anger…” “With what?” The teacher tried to clarify my point. “Anxiety and anger.” I slowed down clumsily. Things got worse. Interruptions kept coming one after another. I knew the teacher meant no harm, but engulfed by upset and panic, I lost the trace of my thought in the following speech. The confused expressions on the faces of the audience whipped me like huge humiliation. At the end of the contest, instead of applause, I harvested nothing but interruptions and embarrassment. Time to change. I planned a three-phase training session, starting with a daily pronunciation practice. At the river nearby, I recited, sang, and read newspapers. I repeated, focused, and cared no judgments. Two months later, in the second phase, I carried out a 30-minute conversation with my parents and chatted with the waiters in the café downstairs every day. I made a list of conversational topics and skills at first, which did help a lot with training my thinking and expressing. As a result, in quite short time I could talk naturally and sometimes even humorously, instead of finding topics with awkward language like a careful beginner. In the third phase, I trained myself to give speeches. Every morning I spent 15 minutes looking into the mirror and speaking to myself there in. I kept telling myself, “Nobody would look at you if you cannot even look at yourself.” Gradually I found stronger and stronger confidence in the eyes of the young man in the mirror. Three months later, a basketball game marked my fresh debut of a brand-new active, confident life. In the past I used to be labeled as “corner keeper”, but this time I managed to articulate my opinion on strategy in advance. I also gave clear directions and inspiring encouragement for my teammates on the court. Moreover, in front of all the audience, I even shouted out loud “Defend!” at the top of my voice without hesitation. After the game, my teammates surrounded me, asking how the change happened. One of them joked, “Whatever medicine you are taking, share with us!” Thanks to constant practicing, I am already able to express myself fluently with elegant pronunciation. It must be the best feeling to enjoy the confidence coming with the success in changing yourself. Now, once aware of my shortcomings, I will immediately make the change. I fear no change, however challenging it may be. Anyway, I have every reason to hold faith in my power, because after I eliminate the obstacle in speaking, I understand so well what I am capable of. And I am proud of that.